By now it is common knowledge, for longtime as well as new readers, that I dig zombies.  Zombie films, zombie literature, zombie games – if it involves the killing of zombies I am all over it.  One could argue I have spent my whole life in training for the coming zombie apocalypse (and it is coming.  People are stupid.  Someone, if they haven’t already, will develop some shit that will turn everyone into the undead – and I don’t qualify, werewolves, ghouls, ghasts, wights, vampires…whatever, when it happens I will fuck you up - and while the rest of you are running about in a panic and pretty much eliminating yourselves I will be kicked back and relaxed, having handled all my business).  I am also an occasional gamer and I happened to be on my Xbox 360 the other day and had a few Microsoft points to spend, not really enough to get anything cool, and I stumbled across the oft-ignored tab of indie games (ie. user created; kind of the game ghetto).  As I took a quick tour through the offerings I noticed, under the headers of “Featured,” “Top Rated” and “Top Downloaded,” a game entitled Zombie Estate.  “Hmmmmmm,” thought I, “Zombie Clampetts,” and spent the 80 points ($1) just to see what I got.  What I got was a strong contender for Game of the Year (and I loved Alan Wake).  What I got was the most punishing shooter since Modern Warfare 2.  What I got was one of the severest strategy games since Civilization II. What I got was the most addictive game since Puzzle Bobble.  What I got is this review.

Ok, smart guy (you say), so where’s the review?  If you’ve been reading my stuff long (once should do it) you know it’s a mess.  It’s all over the place and barely makes sense.  You want a review, read Abraxas.  Not only does he have this stuff down cold, he writes better game reviews as well so go read that.  My job is to tell you how mind-numbingly awesome Zombie Estate is and that’s gonna take a minute because all I’m really thinking about is playing Zombie Estate.  Give me a second to put my “professional” costume on and we’ll see about reigning this in and we’ll all be happy, ok?  Ahem.

Zombie Estate is a top down shooter alà Robotron.  You are given a pretty good sized ground floor mansion which dominates the right side of the screen (1 floor), the left a huge expanse of yard.  The mansion contains a shop where you can buy ammo and upgrade weapons, which are hot-keyed to the D-pad (except for “down,” which is always pistol). You and up to three other players (local), when the levels begin, are beset by hundreds of zombies and your job, whether you choose to accept it or not, is to kill all the zombies, take all the ammo, health and money they drop, spend it quick on better weapons and pretty much set up your best defense before the assault begins again.

There.  Pretty much sums it up.  Oh, yeah, I forgot.  The visual look of the game is truly what puts the polish on a damned entertaining game already:  IT’S 8-BIT!  Lemme say it again for the cheap seats:  IT’S STYLE IS 8-BIT!!  Goddamn genius.  There are 30 or so characters you can inhabit, from the pizza guy to various neighborhood animals and even the local creepster, all looking like little blocky Lego’s going to town on a bunch of other little blocky, green, shambling Lego’s.  The multitude of  weapons are as varied as the characters and, though there are many different assault rifles and shotguns to play around with, once your little dude (Bawnd, maybe, or my favorite, Ducky) can spend some serious cash the destruction potential ramps up incredibly.  From the Cow Launcher, which disperses huge cows over a pretty good area…and they explode on contact, to the Plant Launcher, which drops a plant down that just happens to shoot fire, this game will fulfill every zombie destruction need you ever have.  The ammo system they’ve worked out is simple and clever, with each gun corresponding to one of four ammo types: Assault, Heavy, Shotgun and Explosive (of course) so depending on how many people are playing the strategy really comes into play and not just on a “we’ll hold this hallway” level but deep discussions on what weapons each member should hold and when in the level to use them in order to maximize ammo drops and best positioning, all in 180 seconds including visiting the shop….it’s like running a small country.

And talk about dissension.  Multiple players means multiple viewpoints which is usually good and I don’t know what kind of people you play with but teamwork and communication, two critical elements to getting past level 6, seems to be a lost art.  Inevitably, the health you need is just down and to the left of you (and you’ve notified everyone that you need that health just out of reach) yet, inexplicably, everyone else (all full health and nowhere near zombies) are scattered all over hell and gone looking at walls and sniffing flowers and guess who doesn’t get that health?  The good news is if your teammates manage to luck out and survive the level (often several hundred zombies until they begin to send 1000+; much like your 30 Lego choices, the enemies are varied and you’ll be introduced to them all) you’ll be back next round.  If they croak, which is the most likely scenario, you receive 3 continues but the drawback is it re-spawns you in the thickest part of the hoard so you gotta be on the same page immediately.  This game has caused real-life conflict and if a game can do that while still being fun to play it’s definitely a must-buy (seriously, real conflict…and we still play it).

Despite certain…frustrations, the phrase I used earlier sums this game up best:  SIMPLE AND CLEVER.  It doesn’t take real long to get the hang of; the style is retro, unusual and hip; the gameplay is amazingly deep and engrossing because of the “defend whatever territory you’ve got” premise and what you bring to it in terms of strategy; the enemies varied; the weapons extremely damaging and you can play it with other people.  Think of Gauntlet. This game will entertain just as well and cause you the exact same headaches.  Did I mention it’s only $1?  If it was $20 it’d be worth it.  9/10 for sure.  Why not 10, you ask?  No Xbox Live support.  Having to continually hold the right stick in a direction constantly to fire.  After 26 levels, another mansion, or maybe another floor or outbuilding, would vary things up.  Very, very small quibbles about a game which is overpoweringly awesome just the way it is.  One last analogy:  it’s very much like Halo right before Halo 2.  All you wanted was new maps.  That was all.  No changing of the weapons, no new story, no alien dudes, just Halo with like 20 new maps.  The original game was brilliant.  Could use a few tweaks but brilliant nonetheless.  Zombie Mansion is that game.  Needs a tweek or two but for a first-time user-created game that costs only $1, these guys hit a Grand Slam.

In conclusion, I cannot heap enough praise on Zombie Mansion.  This is a Must-Buy, chock full of fun, strategy and depth of gameplay that outshines some of it’s $60 cousins.  A solid 9/10 that deserves your attention.  Despite my ramblings, acquire it immediately.  It may even help you survive the upcoming apocalypse, which you may miss entirely because you and your chums are playing Zombie Mansion.