Want to know when the worst time of year, or the off season is for video games?

It’s the summer time.

Not that there’s any slow down in the release schedule. It’s still roughly 3 titles being released any given week. No, it’s not that. It’s what’s being released. Mostly it’s action or superhero movie tie-ins, franchise retreads, and all the other weird stuff that doesn’t settle into a neat genre pigeon hole.

In a shorter description: crap.

Summer time for video games is like January for movies or Christmas for book sales. No, really, when was the last time you bought anyone a book for Christmas? See what I mean?

And Let’s Tap fits right in with the rest of the summer release games.

Now, I know what you’re thinking. It’s the same thing I was thinking when this game showed up at my door stop, “What the hell is this, a tap dance game? Well, this could be fun.” I mean, can you imagine trying to do a Bill Robinson-esque stair dance number using the wii-mote? I can, and that’s sounds pretty damn cool to me. I had visions of the next Guitar Hero-like craze, something like Tap Hero.

Too bad Let’s Tap has nothing to do with tap dancing.

No, Let’s Tap means let’s tap your finger against a box to jiggle the wii-mote around as it sits on top of the box. No, I am not joking. You tap a box. That’s it.

Now, I do want to congratulate the developer Prope for going, well, outside of the box with a new control scheme. Taking the controller out of the players hands, and getting them to interact with it in a completely new form is innovative. Instead of pressing buttons on a controller, now you’re engaged in the game in a whole new way, and it’s controller-less, it’s just you. It was a risk, and I am glad they took it.

It’s too bad the game sucks ass.

Let’s Tap is not a single unifying game. No, it’s a unifying method to play five sub-games; a sprint game, a Jenga-like stacking game, Bubble shooter game, and a rhythm tapping game. And, they are just as interesting to play as that previous sentence was to read.

Oh, and there’s some sort of freeform ink-splat game. You tap on the box, and then these ink-splats appear on screen. I didn’t get the point of it either. What I ended up doing was pretending I was a porn star that had a problem- seems that the “stuff” that is normally white had turned to black. Of course, I immediately went to my sexy female doctor. And, since this was now a porn game, things got hot and heavy with the doctor but the good news was there were now plenty of samples to work with.

And that’s about as exciting or interesting as Let’s Tap gets.

The control scheme of Let’s Tap lacks fine control and finesse. While there is difference in the strength and duration of the tap- for example, many fast, light taps in the sprint game produce a burst of speed and one solid single tap will get the runner to jump- it’s nothing beyond that. The runner in the sprint game runs along a single track, with no ability to change direction or route the only real control you are given is the speed of the runner.

Which, when you boil it down, is exactly the same game as the old Activision Decathlon for the Atari. For those of you too young to have played any version of this game, I will give you the entire summation of game play- you mindlessly pressed the button to get your runner to go. The more you mashed the button, the faster your dude went.

It wasn’t cool back in 1983 and it ain’t cool now.

Although, taking the wii-mote out of the repetition issue- the endless tap tap taptap taptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptap tap- does reduce the wear and tear on the equipment. So, kudos there Prope, it only took you 30 years to figure out how keep the A button from wearing out in a week.

Good Job.

And, the story is the same for the other games in Let’s Tap. They all lack the fine control of even the old Pacman or Asteroids games. Bubble fighter or whatever the actual name is for that game looked like it could have been a nice take on Asteroids, but it’s not. It sucks. The tapping thing really can’t replace the control of a stick and a button when it comes to shooting. Or anything, really.

What I find to be most disappointing about Let’s Tap is that the control scheme is clearly meant to be its “innovation.” I say disappointing because the tap method was not developed in response to a groundbreaking game idea. No, they came up with the tap thing first and then developed a bunch of games to use that control scheme.

And, that really shows.

There is no reason to force the player to endlessly tap on a box other than to have them endlessly tap the box. Now, I know what you’re saying, “Abraxas, don’t you have to endlessly press a button in video games, how is this any different?” Well, it is different because with the other games the point isn’t to press that button in and of itself. Pressing the button advance the game or whatever. In Let’s Tap, tapping is not there to advance a game but rather the game is there so you can tap the box. There’s no reason to not make the tap a button. I am saying that pressing the A button has the same meaning as pressing any other button, or flipping the controller over and tapping on a box. Which means that as there is not a specific game element to the tapping, there is no reason to be doing it other than to be “different” and “innovative”. The tap is a pointless gimmick.

It’s so pointless I can’t even get mad at the game. Everyone of these mini-games in Let’s Tap are the sort of things you should find on a cell phone. These games should not be on a major console title. It’s this sort of mindless shit that is giving the Wii a bad name, and why Wii Sports, the game that shipped with the Wii is still the most popular Wii game. Which is a damn shame because the innovation of the motion capture of the wii could be lead to a lot of really fun games that physically involve you in the action.

But instead we get this lame crap pushed at us again and again and again.

So, really, in the end my response to Let’s Tap is Let’s Not.

And, for those of you who still have no idea who Bill Robinson is, here is an old film clip of him doing his signature stair dance. You might know him by his other name, Mr. Bojangles. I have too much respect for him to use that name, however.