Canabalt
That’s right, Magnificent Bastard, who doesn’t play games and never writes about games, is reviewing a game. It must be pretty awesome, huh?
Magnificent Bastard sez:
A little man, alone in a hallway. You start running, dive through a window, and hit the next rooftop running. And you keep running. The cityscape behind you is in shambles. Giant robots can be seen in the background, wreaking destruction upon the city you once called home. And you run. Jumping from building to building, rooftop to rooftop, diving through windows, traversing cranes, jumping over the occasional obstacle in your way. You run.
It’s one of the simplest and most elegant games I’ve ever seen. And it’s as addictive as chocolate flavored crack.
You have one button. It makes you jump. That’s it. That’s all there is to it. You run, the game records how far you ran. You run until you fall to your death. Or you smash headfirst into a piece of debris and turn into a fine mist.
Seriously, the first time I played it I thought it was cute. And then I realized I had been playing it for 20 minutes. I didn’t want to stop. It’s that good. Nothing this simple and easy should be this much fun, but it is.
The graphics are nothing special. Monochrome, somewhat pixelated, and yet gorgeous in their simplicity. So simple, yet when you jump to a roof and a flock of pigeons flies up around you, it’s really quite beautiful. You want to look behind you and admire the devastation, you want to look at the giant robots shooting laser beams, but you can’t.
You’re too busy running.
I had played it several times before it sunk in that the game is totally random. Once you make the jump out of the first building, nothing is ever the same twice. Forget memory, this game is pure reaction. And that’s infinitely more fun.
Do you like speed? Because this little guy starts kind of slow, but as he runs farther, he gets faster. And faster. Until you’re running so fast you feel like you’re totally out of control. Like when you were a kid and you ran down a hill so fast you got to a point where you were going faster than your legs could keep up and you felt like you were gonna fall on your face but the only thing you could do was try to run faster? It’s like that. Until you run into something. Hopefully that something is a chair or a box, because that just slows you down. Sometimes it’s a wall, and you fall to your death. Sometimes it’s a giant piece of debris that fell from the sky, and you turn into a fine mist. Those last two are bad things. You should probably avoid those as long as possible.
Do you own headphones? Get some headphones. Because you’ll really want to use headphones. The sound is amazing. And while speakers are ok, the headphones really bring out the maximum awesome. The game will tell you that, but who believes a game? Believe me. Use headphones.
There’s a few of you out there right now thinking “I don’t need no headphones!” Oh yeah? Well, I don’t need your attitude. Use the headphones. You’ll thank me later.
You really need to check this game out. Right now. It was recently ported to the iPhone, and I think that’s by far the best way to play it. It’s perfect for that platform, because it’s a nice short, easy game that makes a great diversion when you’re standing on line, or waiting for a friend, or bored in a meeting. The iPhone version is $2.99, but if you’re a huge cheapskate who just can’t stand the idea of shelling out $2.99 on my word alone (although my word should be good enough for you, because I am Magnificent, after all), or if you don’t have an iPhone, you can play the game for free here. So go play it.