So I’ve been working in my spare time to construct, well, not a time machine per se but a machine that can compress a few of the hours of the day in such a way that I can add a few more in there; maybe a pocket of null-time where for one hour of regular time I get a full day…something along those lines. Now, mind you, I am mechanically inept but I have been plowing through Essential Fantastic Four Volume 7 so maybe Reed Richards will come up with something I can use, or at least con someone into doing for me. Therefore, it is my sad duty to inform you that this month’s edition of what I’m into will yet again only scratch the surface of the crap that builds up around here. Seriously. You’d have a fit if you knew. Since my machine is not finished, here’s a few things I squeezed in this month.

Tom and Jerry: The Chuck Jones Collection: In 1962, when Warner Brothers closed it’s animation shop, MGM quickly signed cartoon genius Chuck Jones, best known for the Road Runner series of cartoons and The Grinch Who Stole Christmas (1966) but helped define the visual style of Bugs, Daffy and crew for decades, to give a makeover to one of it’s greatest cartoon duos, Tom and Jerry. What followed were 34 brilliant exhibitions of the Chuck Jones style (ably assisted by most of the Warner animation group, including star voice artist Mel Blanc, combined with some of MGM’s formidable talent) that remain some of the best Tom and Jerry’s ever done. Imagine my dismay, then, when I acquired the first volume of the Tom and Jerry Spotlight Collection (2004) and saw nary a Chuck Jones cartoon on either disc. Maybe on the next volume (2005), thought I, but was denied again. The third and last Spotlight Collection was released (2007) and whaddya wanna bet there was no Chuck Jones represented? Now, after two long years of soul-searing questioning and heartbreaking dismay, we can finally revel in some of the finest cat and mouse humor ever put on screen, along with a documentary that is on one of the Warner Brothers Golden Collections and another small featurette but who cares? The Mouse from H.U.N.G.E.R. on DVD is worth the fairly reasonably priced set (around $20) alone but you get 33 more awesome situations that could only come from the mind of Chuck Jones. Sure, some of it’s a little repetitive – it’s Tom and Jerry, for God’s sake! – and you can get an idea of where Chuck was taking the duo by watching old Road Runners but without these guys there would be no Itchy and Scratchy and without Chuck there would be a huge hole in our animated cartoon vocabulary so do yourself a favor and get this set for 8 minute bouts of insane violent fun.

Magnum P.I. Season One: After stellar Rockford Files appearances in 1978 and 1979 (which would serve as a template for his upcoming detective series), Tom Selleck assumed the role of Magnum P.I. (1980), hotshot Hawaii investigator, which would run for eight seasons and holds up surprisingly well today. The supporting cast, consisting of Higgins (John Hillerman), Rick (Larry Manetti) and T.C. (Roger E. Mosley), is what sells the show with Higgins acting as Magnum’s primary antagonist who eventually earns grudging respect for what he views as a shiftless freeloader while Rick and T.C. are former Military pals turned nightclub owner and helicopter pilot, respectively, who occasionally assist/get shafted by Magnum during the course of his adventures. Not quite as good as Rockford, Magnum P.I. combines solid mystery with tremendous characterization to provide a remarkably entertaining show, though this first season features a different theme song that the standard one we all know and love and the Army flashbacks get tiresome. Overall, each episode provides 45 thrill-packed minutes and even the most flat episode is superior to 80% of televised series today. Get this and be reminded how solid this series was.

LG 47LH40 47-Inch LCD HDTV: As you may know, last month, while in the process of accomplishing my Divine Mission of rewarding terrorists with Allah’s personal handshake, our 47″ Samsung blew not only it’s bulb but color wheel in a totally “buy a new TV” kind of way. Well, terrorism does not win because I just acquired a 47″ LG with 1080p Full HD resolution 1920 x 1080p Trumotion 120Hz, 70,000:1 Dynamic contrast ratio, Smart Energy Saving Technology, Invisible speaker system with Dolby Digital 5.1 & Clear voice, 4x HDMI v 1.3 digital inputs and all kinds of other jargon for $1000. Oh, yeah, they threw in one of LG’s top Blu-Ray players as well. Now, I am more of a fan of the HD format (though dead) but 1080p is 1080p so Dog Soldiers (2002) and The Descent (2005), my two new Blu-Rays, have never looked better. Hell, that Tom and Jerry never looked better, Heaven forbid I pop in the HD version of Planet Earth (2006). Quite a deal (and it better be seeing as my broke ass will now have nothing to do but sit in front of the thing) but really, really bad if you are a pixelated enemy of freedom.

Elysium Presents An Evening With cEvin Key 7/10/09: The musical half of Skinny Puppy and prolific solo artist (Download, Plateau and Tear Garden, among others) has been busy with a series of DJ sets in Japan but on July 10th began a rare series of U.S. gigs here in Austin, Texas – a town not known for it’s industrial scene, unlike my native Minneapolis. That meant the gig was held in a goth/rave club and the audience was made up of just that, combined with kids that went because it was the weekend and that’s what they did. Way, way more girls than a show like that normally draws and some damned fine looking ones as well. However, whomever it was that said the fat goth look was dying doesn’t know shit because I saw more flesh stuffed into outfits that were intended for much, much smaller frames that I was entirely comfortable with. Once again, it was fortuitous that there was so much eye candy to quickly take the mind off the occasional horror on display so the crowd mix was kind of hot/cold and I believe under-attended. The first opener was DJ Void, whom I surmise was a house DJ, and he began with a decent Chemical Brothers/Meat Beat Manifesto mash-up but any momentum he gained there he proceeded to destroy with his next few poor choices; so much so that cEvin Key went up to the booth and took over, picking things up considerably and amazingly enhancing some Noise Unit which was the only good in this first act. They had a stage set up which we falsely assumed was for Mr. Key; not so! Turns out it was for the second act, Carbon Theory, who is so bad they may as well change their name to “Bored Shitless” because that’s what I was. From my vantage point I saw the beat programmer, who’s gimick was to jerk back and forth and play the exact same beat every song while some other dude played weak keyboards and occasionally emo-ted into a mic. Thoroughly, thoroughly bad and then I saw that they had a third guy. Fuck, I thought, it takes three dudes to make this shit? I could crank that out in three minutes with a Casio Home Organ and a pair of bongos. Awful. Just Awful. cEvin Key definitely was worth the price of admission ($8) but doubly so after that mess. The flaw was he spun out of the booth, which provided a scant view but my hope was tons of Download and cEvin Key provided in spades, mixed with liberal amounts of Plateau and Tear Garden, plus occasional Skinny Puppy tunes and other rarities. He spun for a little over two hours and provided tremendous background music for the freaky visual floor-show that was our fellow audience members. If cEvin Key comes to your area by all means attend, not just for the slamming audio assault but for a unique glimpse of an industrial legend at a rare DJ gig.

Take No Prisoners 4/4/09: This is the second of the Ring of Honor shows most of Cybermonkey attended in April, finally on DVD and once again we represent well. Mexomorph is hard camera so 75% of the show he’s plainly obvious, wearing my Curry Man T-shirt. There is something about KENTA, Magnificent Bastard and Lady L because both shows feature clear shots of our main Monkeys during KENTA’s matches and Ninja Mike and I renewed our war with now-current Champ Austin Aries in a visually spectacular way. The card is strong, featuring Ace Steele vs. Colt Cabana in a comedy classic, Necro Butcher and Jimmy Jacobs (the Man!) in a bloody and punishing No Holds Barred Grudge Match replete with a goring by a huge screwdriver and highlighted by Austin Aries and Katsuhiko Nakajima vs. Tyler Black & KENTA . Definitely one of the best shows I’ve attended and a great time on DVD so I encourage you to get a taste of the best North American Wrestling promotion in front of a very excited Houston crowd.